Sunday, 4 May 2014

My Near-Death Experience


Hi everyone! To celebrate May the 4th aka Star Wars Celebration Day, I'd like to share a video of my close encounter with death from four years ago.



Make the most of your time with your loved ones; you never know when it will be your last—so buy a lightsaber!

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Until next time, something wonderful awaits!

Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Movies I Saw This Month - April Edition


Hi everyone! Yes, it's been almost a month since I've posted, but I'm still alive! Apart from making steady progress on my debut novel, I've watched a lot of new movies this month. Let's start with the worst I've seen!

DIVERGENT
Theo James in Divergent
James Franco in Divergent.
Sorry, but this just isn't good enough. One hour into the movie, I was thinking: "Okay, you've introduced us to a happy-looking dystopian world where teens risk their life by jumping on/off moving trains to join a club or something. Okay, seems dangerous, but whatever. What's next? Let's watch teens train to be security guards or some shit then watch them play laser tag (which is actually a cool scene) and then what? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT?"

I don't know if Veronica Roth's books are structured like this, but the screenwriters and director, Neil Burger (this is the last time I'm watching a movie directed by a guy with Burger as his surname) did a crappy job of setting up the world as well as moving the plot along. It also has one of the lamest deaths in cinema history.

Every YA book adaption that's come out recently has sucked and also did terribly at the box-office: Ender's Game, Mortal Instruments, Vampire Academy, Beautiful Creatures, The Host, and a few others.

Why? Well, there are two main reasons:
1. The filmmakers fucked it up with shitty screenwriting and pedestrian directing.
2. The story's just not that great.

But it's not all doom and gloom for new YA movies.

The Maze Runner and The Giver look very promising and I hope they blow me away.

With Divergent, I am being overly harsh with it because it's not okay for Hollywood to churn out half-assed movies like this just to make a quick buck.

Initially, I supported Peter Jackson's decision to split The Hobbit into 3 movies, but after seeing the second one—ten minutes of story in a 3 hour movie—fuck that! It's gone way out of hand.

Also hated this movie because it's got Jai Courtney, another Aussie actor who looks like Sam Worthington. Not good. Okay, I admit it, that's the real reason I hated this movie. :)
— 3/10

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES
Andrew Jacobs, star of Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
"This is the last time I shove my head up someone's ass!"
You know a horror movie is bad when you fall asleep. Yes, I fell asleep in the last twenty minutes. What number is this? The fifth or sixth now? It's gotta stop. Please, no more Paranormal Activity movies! What a fucking waste of time!
— 4/10

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2
Dane DeHaan is The Green Goblin
Leonardo DiCaprio's younger brother as The Green Goblin.
Some have compared this sequel to the awful Batman and Robin. And you know what? They're right. Jamie Foxx's role as the villain, Electro, is dreadful. He should hand back his Oscar. And the CGI is shocking. What year is it? 2014? Some of the shots look like they came out of a Playstation 1 game.
— 5/10

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

My Book Is Turning Into A Hollywood Movie

Hi everyone! This is one of the greatest days of my life because I can finally announce to the world that one of my short stories is being adapted into a big-budget Hollywood movie co-financed by Universal Pictures and Screen Australia. You're hearing this news first before it hits Variety and The Hollywood Reporter tomorrow morning.

WHAT'S BEING ADAPTED?
My profoundly moving story about the tallest man in the world, aptly titled, The Tallest Man in the World, which you can find on Amazon here. My cousin, Tuan Ho (who has the exact same name as me, and you can find his IMDB page here), lives in California, and has worked on big budget Hollywood movies before, including The Avengers, The Hunger Games, Thor, has been hired to do some of the effects for this movie. I'm so happy for him!
Book cover of The Tallest Man In The World

WHO'S DIRECTING IT?
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. These guys are the Coen brothers of comedies. They're the geniuses behind the Scary Movie movies, and more recently, The Starving Games, a hilarious Hunger Games parody.
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer directing
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.
WHO'S WRITING IT?
Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman. They're the masterminds behind Star Trek, Transformers, Xena: Warrior Princess and more. It makes sense to have two writers to pair nicely with two directors.
Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman posing for a photo
Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman.
WHO'S STARRING IN IT?
The majority of the cast has not been finalized, but I can announce who has. Are you ready?

* * * Drumroll please * * *

Friday, 28 March 2014

Some Movies I've Watched Recently


Hi everyone! Just posting quick reviews on some movies I've watched recently along with some movies from 2013.

POMPEII

"I work out."
This is the worst movie I've seen this year. Terrible script, dreadful dialogue and lame acting. I couldn't wait for the volcano to erupt and kill everyone. The only good bits are the battle scenes and Kiefer Sutherland's slightly hilarious performance as the villain. And if you're into shirtless guys and abs, there's no shortage of that either.
—  3/10

 
"This year's Mardis Gras will be the best one ever!"

If you want to watch ultra-fit shirtless guys fight each other for two hours, then this is your movie! Thankfully, there's a wonderful performance by the lovely Eva Green and her breasts, which balances out the overload of abs and biceps. And if there was no slow-motion used in the movie—it would only last 40 minutes. I'm not kidding!
—  7/10

Friday, 14 March 2014

COVER REVEAL: Legends of Windemere: Family of the Tri-Rune

Hi everyone! Here's a cover reveal from fellow author, Charles Yallowitz. The guy writes at a phenomenal pace. By the time I release my upcoming novel (sometime this year), he'll have published another twenty novels! As always, this cover features stunning work from Jason Pedersen.


Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Legends of Windemere: Family of the Tri-Rune is set to debut on Sunday, March 16th!!!

Sunday, 2 March 2014

Movie Reviews of the 2014 Oscar Best Picture Nominees


Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted anything, but I'm back just in time for the Oscars! Below are my thoughts on all the movies (except Nebraska) nominated for Best Picture ranked from worst to best.



8 - CAPTAIN PHILLIPS 
This is without a doubt my least favorite of all the Oscar nominees. It's directed by Paul Greengrass (The Bourne films, United 93) so you know it's going to be a good movie. And it is. And you also know it will have a lot of shaky camerawork — which I hate. I just HATE, HATE, HATE shakycam. I don't get headaches easily like some people, but I would prefer to watch something that didn't look like the cameraman was masturbating furiously while shooting it. Screw you, Paul Greengrass! And get a tripod, dickhead.

7 - AMERICAN HUSTLE
This is a "meh" movie. It's entertaining and all, but it's not a movie I'll remember in five years. Actually, I've almost forgotten what it was about. So what was it about? Something to do with Christian Bale's fat beer belly? Amy Adams' annoying British accent and her pleasant cleavage? Jennifer Lawrence's equally impressive cleavage? Bradley Cooper doing something something . . . ?

Ahh, who gives a fuck. It's the movie equivalent of those celeb gossip magazines you read while waiting at the doctor's.

6 - PHILOMENA

Steve Coogan and Judi Dench absolutely nail their performances in this film about Irish nuns selling people's babies back in the 50s. It's sad, funny, and ultimately, a very moving story based on real events. When you're not moved to tears, you'll be laughing because Coogan's a funny dude.

5 - DALLAS BUYERS CLUB
Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey. He absolutely deserves the Oscar. When you see how much weight he lost for the movie — his skinny thighs and chicken legs — you realize: "Holy fuck! That is skinny! And not thin like a catwalk-type stick figure, probably even be thinner than that. It couldn't have been healthy."

As for the movie, it's like Schindler's List, but instead of Jews, you have AIDS-affected people. It is one of only three movies from 2013 that truly moved me to tears without being sentimental (the other two being Philomena and 12 Years a Slave).

4 - HER
Is it possible to love a computer — or more precisely — an operating system? If so, is it possible to have sex with an operating system? That question sounds fucked up — but this movie proves that when your operating system is voiced by the irresistible Scarlett Johansson — you won't hesitate to ponder that question. Her is also my pick for Best Original Screenplay. It really deserves it.

3 - THE WOLF OF WALL STREET
Sex. Drugs. Money. Sex. Drugs. Money. Orgies. Drugs. Jonah Hill's penis. Drugs. Sex. Drugs. Money. Masturbation. Yes, the lifestyle of a Wall Street stockbroker. But what's the point of it all? Why watch this? Is it okay to enjoy all these scenes of sex and drugs knowing that a lot of people actually got fucked over in real life for this movie to be made? Yes. That's the crucial aspect of it — you must enjoy it.

Without spoiling the movie, the genius of this movie is very subtly made apparent in the very last scene. It may go over most people's head completely, but for the ones who do get it, you'll understand why The Wolf of Wall Street is an important and must-see film.

2 - 12 YEARS A SLAVE
I've talked quite a bit about the movie here. But I'll repeat myself anyway because it deserves it. I can't think of a bad thing about the movie, except maybe . . . it's not long enough? That's how good the movie is. I hope it wins Best Picture at the Oscars tomorrow.

1 - GRAVITY
Easily my favorite movie of the year. This is the kind of movie giant cinema screens were made for. What else can be said about it? Well, it features some of the most dazzling sequences of beauty and destruction ever! How would I sum up Gravity in one word? WOW! 

And the other nominee? Nebraska? Yeah, I haven't gotten around to it yet lol

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Until next time, something wonderful awaits!